Driving In and Around New York: A Primer
- Whenever possible, pass on the right.
- Speed limits apply only to women and the Irish
- Take it personally: if someone merges in front of you, it’s probably got less to do with traffic flow than their brazen lack of respect for you and your extended family; resolve with violence
- Tinted windows, spoilers, and decals add an undeniable air of charm and sophistication to your automobile; they also make it faster.
- Stuck in a traffic jam? Honk your horn! It’s fun, it’s easy, and, best of all, it lets nearby drivers know that you’re important and have pressing business to attend to, thereby instantaneously dissolving gridlock.