Ron Konkoma’s Guide to Parenting in New York
- You Are A Snowflake
As a parent, it’s safe to say that you are better than those without children, and as such, that you are no longer obligated to pay any heed to your surroundings or to observe in any way the trifling social conventions of the childless. So go ahead—change your baby on line at Chopt Salad. In fact, while you’re at it, be sure to fill other patrons in on the consistency and regularity of your child’s bowel movements. They’ll appreciate it.
- These wheels were made for rolling
The word sidewalk is Latin in origin, and translates roughly as “Baby Stroller Highway.” So the next time a man, woman or child crosses your path, run them down—after all, etymology is on your side.
- Name Your Child Aidyn
Or, if you’re looking for something more feminine, try Maginot Line (Maggie for short).